Lily - Why did I end up where I belong?

BEST WORDZZ EVARRR.

welcometoabetterlife — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 10:11:00 +0000

Whore-ific – A combination of whore and horrific, it is used to describe someone really really whore-y.

E.g.” Eww, Uggs with bare legs? That girl is so totally whore-ific! I bet she has chlamydia.” See also: skank

OMUD/OMZ – Plays on the popular abbreviation OMG, OMUD and OMZ are acronyms for Oh My Un-named Deity (as to make the phrase non-denominational) and Oh My Zeus (after the supreme god in Greek mythology.)

E.g. “OMUD! I totally love your boots!”, “OMZ I know right? I got them on sale!”

TO BE CONTINUED…

A Bad-Ass Book.

welcometoabetterlife — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:29:14 +0000

Harry Potter is fucking BADASS! It’s so good, even though everyone slags it it’s so well written and the storyline is frickin genius! Damn.. I read the entire series every school holiday…

Chuck Palahniuk, And Why I Think He’s A Genius.

welcometoabetterlife — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 21:07:47 +0000

Chuck Palahniuk is my favourite writer of all time. Although he wrote Fight Club, which was later made into a film which is now really famous, not many people I know have heard of him, nevermind actually read any of his material. However, I find his books amazing and I thought I’d share the quotes that when I read, I really really feel something… I hope anyone reading this will imediately go and read some Chuck! Oh, a hint of advice, if you’re just about to read your first Palahniuk, be warned, it can be quite disturbing. If I were you, start with Fight Club or Invisible Monsters and then move onto maybe Survivor, then ones like Choke and Rant.

I love the following quotes because they remind me that failing, losing things, being hurt, being almost destroyed even, can only make me stronger and more free. After so many things that have nearly torn me apart, I like being reminded that I am still alive.

“The lower you fall the higher you’ll fly” – Invisible Monsters
“Only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit” – Fight Club
“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” – Fight Club
“The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open” – Invisible Monsters

These next ones are just general quotes by Palahniuk that I like and that make me think about stuff and… yeah.

“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness.
We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” – Diary
“You have a choice. Live or die.
Every breath is a choice.
Every minute is a choice.
Every time you don’t throw yourself down the stairs, that’s a choice. Every time you don’t crash your car, you re-enlist.” – Survivor
“People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved.
Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up.
Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.” – Survivor

<3

welcometoabetterlife — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:59:38 +0000

3 Songs that are played wayyyyy too much but I still love them ><

Mr Brightside by The Killers

You’ve Got The Love by Florence and the Machine

Don’t Stop Believing by Journey

The Best Advice I Ever Received

welcometoabetterlife — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:48:37 +0000

The best advice I ever recieved would have to be on my recent trip to New York – I went to a Musical Theatre Workshop and my mentor was this fantastic guy called Brad Bass. I was asking him what he thought of persuing Musical Theatre as a career, seeing as thats what he did and this is what he told me:

"If you enjoy doing anything just as much as you enjoy Musical Theatre, do that. Musical Theatre is so hard that you should only do it if it's the one thing you love more than anything else"

I found this really thought provoking and it really made me question my desire to enter the world of performing… So there is the best advice I ever recieved!

Plinky Prompts

welcometoabetterlife — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 10:44:19 +0000

I just made myself a profile on a site called Plinky – basically it asks questions that you can answer and post them on your blog. I joined seeing as I rarely know what to write my blog about, so from now on, expect a lot more blogging from me!

Peace,

Lily xxx

Reasons NOT To Be A Woman

welcometoabetterlife — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 20:26:18 +0000

1) Throughout history, women have been abused, manipulated and controlled by men – and often have taken it as their own fault. Recently I read Tess of the D’Urbervilles, and even though it was first published in 1891, the issues in it still struck a chord with me – Tess, the protagonist, is led astray and then raped/seduced (this is left to be decided by the reader) by her “cousin”, Alec (who lied about being her cousin in order to get close to her, the dickhead). She then falls pregnant and is known by everyone to be “unpure” - as sex before marriage was taboo at the time it was written, and it was believed that a woman could only be with one man her entire life unless her first lover dies. Throughout the book she is punished for something that was out of her control – when she falls in love with a man he deserts her on finding out about her past, and when she finally kills the man who raped her so as to be with her true love, she’s executed! Where is the justice in that?!?!?! Oh, and her “true love” ends up shacking up with her younger sister after she’s executed. When I read it I got really mad, because it summed up entirely the unfairness of men – they will always blame the woman! My personal experiences tie up with this too – one time at a party I was extremely inebriated, and ended up making out with a guy. I found out the next day that he actually had a girlfriend (I had no idea at the time) and then he told everyone that I “forced myself upon him”. Come on. I’m a 5″2 girl with the strength of a… banana or something, he is a RUGBY PLAYER. If anyone had actually bothered to think his claim through they’d have realised it was ridiculous, right? So my reason #1 is basically – women almost always take the blame.

2) 85% of victims in domestic violence incidents are women. This has an obvious reason – in general, men are physically much stronger than women. Apparently, this gives them the right to beat us up. Nice one.

3) In Britain, a female working full-time earns just 82% of her male colleage’s salary. This comes from the age old adage that “men are more intelligent than women”. Fuck off! According to the Office of National Statistics, on the whole, girls outperform boys at all levels of education in Britain, from Key Stage 1 (5-7 years old) to Higher Education - the exeption was Key Stage 2 (7-11 years old) mathematics, where boys outperformed girls.. by 2%. Since 1990, at least 5% more girls have achieved 5 or more GCSE grades from C-A*. So I’m thinking that there is no way that “men are more intelligent than women”.

4) The menstrual cycle. I’d like to see men deal with cramps, bloating, mood-swings, nausea, sore tits, headaches and general shitness once a month! Plus the fact we’re the ones that have to be pregnant, be fat for 9 months, then have a screaming watermelon sized thing squeezed out our lady-bits!

Okay, so I’m aware this has just turned into a massive feminist rant, but I honestly hate men at the moment. Actually, to be honest, I hate everyone at the moment. People suck.

Peace,

Lily xxx

welcometoabetterlife — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 02:03:51 +0000

Hello.

I’m writing this from my flat in Edinburgh, at 2.42 in the morning. Of course, you probably knew the time already. I’m sure its somewhere in here. Anyway. I’m not feeling too good. Feeling kinda crap actually. I’m not sure whether its the copious amounts of drink I consumed last night, or the fact I’ve lost my voice due to a chest infection, or the fact I miss Fraser more than anything. I honestly thought I’d be ok knowing that we’re not “together” anymore. But I’m not. I kinda had a weak moment actually… I told him I missed him – but was greeted with the cold response “This is for the best, Lily”. Damn. It’s so hard staying friends with him, chatting about random stuff but not being able to say what I really want, but the alternative – not being friends with him – is even harder to contemplate. I did try – I went a day without talking to him at all.. But I got lonely. Over the last 2 months we’ve talked every single day and to suddenly go cold turkey is really really difficult. I really really wish he wanted me. I mean, I think he does, but he’s adament that since he’s going to Uni soon that we shouldn’t get in any deeper.. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have told him how I felt about him, because if I hadn’t then we could have just carried on as we were. God, sometimes I hate myself. Scrap that – I hate myself most of the time.

I had a horrible situation last night. I had a party at the flat in Edinburgh - it had been ages since I saw anyone so I invited a bunch of people over, got a ton of booze, loud music, the lot… And it was awesome. I loved seeing everyone again, I missed them so much and it was just really fun and everyone was getting on so well, it was a lovely atmosphere. But something always has to go wrong, doesn’t it?

When most people had gone home, about 10 people had just decided to crash at the flat, which was fine with me. And one guy gets into bed beside me, which was fine cos I kinda wanted to get with him anyway. (By “get with” I mean, make out with). Anyway, so we were, and then he started to try and do… other things. I just wanted to kiss and snuggle and sleep, and also there were other people in the room so I told him I didn’t want to go further… But he wouldn’t stop. No matter how many times I told him I didn’t want him to, he’d just start trying again. I didn’t want to make a scene so I just went really unresponsive, so he said “What’s wrong? Come into the kitchen to chat”. So, I did. And when he asked if I was mad at him, I said it just seemed like he had a one track mind. When I said this, he started to get really angry and then he made some really nasty personal comments. I kicked him out, but it didn’t stop me feeling really hurt and scared. I mean, what if no one else had been in the flat? Would he have stopped at all? I’ve been there before and the thought of him doing it to me as well, it makes me feel sick to the stomach. All day today I’ve felt queasy at the thought, I’ve not been happy and I’ve not enjoyed myself as much as I should have. I just feel crap. I feel like I seem to give off some sort of vibe that makes guys automatically assume that I’ll put out (which isn’t true). I don’t understand why I always get the guys that are creeps. It really gets me down. I just want to be held and I want to be close emotionally to someone… Not just physically. And that’s where Fraser comes in… Because not only was he someone I had something physical with, I felt really safe with him, I opened up to him, I made myself vulnerable around him but for some reason I didn’t mind… I liked it.

And now that’s gone.

Parents – What’s the deal with them?

welcometoabetterlife — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 20:32:05 +0000

This topic has been weighing on my mind a lot recently, and I felt I should express my feelings about it all.

Obviously, I’m not a parent, so I’m no expert. But I kinda feel that when someone becomes a parent, they immediately have responsibility for the life they’ve brought into the world. Becoming a parent is a matter of choice, always, (I’m pro-choice when it comes to abortion) and I feel that if someone is going to have a child they really need to think about what it means – becoming selfless and responsible for another human being for at least 16 years. It’s definitely a big deal.

What got me thinking about all this was a friend of mine. He’s been having a tough time recently, and I don’t usually ask about things like that because I feel that it’s a person’s choice to tell me stuff. But it seemed to have really been getting him down and I care about him, so I asked him. Turns out that all his life his mother has been anorexic and neither of his parents have been very supportive of him. Obviously they feed and clothe him and send him to school et cetera… But he’s never had emotional support or any motivation from them. In the case of his mother, it’s a mental illness she has and to a certain extent she can’t help that – but thinking about what I earlier said, that becoming a mother is a choice and one has to think about it before they have kids – sure, maybe this woman had “recovered” at the point she decided to have children but then when she had them, surely she knew that a relapse would ruin their lives too and surely she should have done all in her power to stop that – therapy etc? I know it’s not that easy when it comes to eating disorders – I have first hand experience of that. But when you bring another life into the world (in her case, 2) then they are part of you and in my opinion it’s your priority to protect them, before you think about yourself, before anything else. Yes, it’s a huge responibility.. But it’s one that has to be considered. And perhaps the reason for teenage pregnancy and over-population is that people dont think about the responsibility of having another human being’s standard of life in your hands. But hey, what would I know?

As I said earlier, I am totally pro choice when it comes to abortion. What makes me really, really mad, is when men try and tell women that they shouldn’t abort. Who are they to say that? Do they have to carry something round in them for 9 months? Do they have the bond that comes from that? They can walk away at any point, the mother can’t. I think it’s just wrong that they even dare to suggest that women shouldn’t have a choice. Sure, an embryo is a potential life, but it’s not actually in the world – it can’t miss what it never had, right? I guess a lot of people would disagree with me on this, and that’s ok – abortion is a topic that has been debated for decades. But I still think that if a woman doesn’t feel she is ready, or the right person, to bring someone into the world, then she shouln’t have to. If people realised that then there would be a lot less unattentive parents, and a lot less unhappy children.

Peace,

Lily xxx

Oh, a few more things

welcometoabetterlife — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:06:51 +0000

Yes, this is my second post of the day, shhh ><

I want to share this website with everyone – www.givesmehope.com

It is a truely gorgeous website, and it has made me cry on more than one occasion. It’s made me realise that I don’t want to die – I want to make my life worth it, I want to be the person that gives hope to people, that makes people smile. Smiles are the most beautiful thing in the world and I want everyone to feel life is worth living. So, check it out, and make someone smile today (another similar site is www.love.givesmehope.com, it’s also heartbreaking)

Another thing I want to share is something that always cheers me up – Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog. It’s a short musical film made by Joss Whedon when the writer’s strike happened in America. A bunch of actors and writers got together during the strike and made this hilarious mini film – It’s one of my all time favourite things and it starts Patrick Neil Harris, who is my favourite person ever! He’s such an awesome actor and singer, and he’s gorgeous too… Shame he’s gay :’( He is one of my idols and I am in love with him Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog is availiable on DVD and I think it is still on YouTube – If it’s not though I have it on my laptop, as well as the soundtrack, and I can email it to anyone who wants to watch - I’d be more than happy to share it because it WILL make you happy Just leave me a comment if you’re interested.

Here is the trailer for it

On a similar note, I’ve been thinking a lot about a course requirement for the Theatre Course I’m starting next year – You have to put on a play that you’ve directed and or written yourself. I was thinking about re-writing Dr Horrible’s S-A-B for stage – However I’d need to get a hold of the soundtrack without the original actor’s singing in it. Anyone know how I could either do this manually or get in contact with Joss Whedon/the actors in it to ask them?

Finally, I want to ask if anyone watched Eurovision? I watched a few of the acts on the internet the next day (Cyprus boy was gorgeous and I want to take him home with me), but does anyone actually watch Eurovision anymore?!

Peace,

Lily xxx